College Courses for My Life (Meme Tag)

Ok, Ok. Here (finally) is my current class schedule.
1) As I was tagged by Jamie, I decided to participate in this first class with her. (I felt like Laundry 501 would be over my head--you can read about it on her blog)
Photography 515 : For those that have already mastered blurry shots, shots that are too dark, fancy shots where only part of it is in focus (but not the part you want), backs of people faces, closed eyes, red eyes and other common shots. We will teach you how to photoshop them into award winning photographic art. Other topics will be straightening and whitening teeth in photos, losing weight by photo editing, and generating new smiles where only frowns existed before.
2)Ambidextrosity and Multitasking 220: (*formerly known as How-to-do-everything-one-handed-while-nursing-a-child-and-talking-on-the-phone 201) In this course, we begin with balance and hand-eye coordination and use these skills as a base for more complicated tasks. We cover how to put on eyeliner and mascara while also blowdrying your hair and not waking your child. The final for this course is a toughie--you must successfully make a new and confusing recipe while carrying on a coherent telephone conversation, holding a 15 pound bag of potatoes in your right arm (or left arm if you are left-handed) and opening all cupboards using only your toes.
3)Time stretching 350: This course is for all of us who constantly get the feeling that time passes much MUCH too quickly (and we are unsure exactly how we filled it, but it was filled and now is gone). We will learn how to make a summer last for what feels like a year (like when we were little and we could hardly remember what school was like by the time the summer was over) AND cover the handy little tidbit of how to get that dinner made that normally takes 24 hours in about 20 minutes. One convenient feature of the class is the endless supply of quiet time we learn to create in which to practice all of these newly acquired skills.
4)Speedy Scrapping 400: In this course, you actually learn to write a computer program that incorporates all of your personal likes and dislikes for scrapbooks to create a scrapbook for you and your family members that LOOKS like you personally crafted and glued and cut each page when in fact--the program does it for you using your digital pictures and automatically sends them to be printed at WalMart and then mailed to your house. A must-attend course for...practically every person alive.
5)Compact Organizing 550: This is a graduate level course for people living in a space with an average of less than 200 square feet per person. You learn how to use ONE closet to serve the purposes of at least 4 others (for example, a pantry/cleaning supplies/crafting supplies/golf club storage all in one). You build custom shelving for every square inch of spare wall space in your home and learn to vacuum pack all of your clothes. You also receive a handy supply of cookware and oven items that actually fit inside your miniature oven (and a free recipe book!). This is a great pre-requisite for anyone looking to take Spreading Out 551 (for those new home buyers) or Anti-pack ratting 552 (for that little hoarder that hides in all of us).
Mmmm. Wouldn't that be a dream schedule.
And now-- I tag Maren, Michelle, Heather, and Kliz.