The Rest of May

Mom was in the hospital for the rest of May.  I'd go see her every few days, sometimes with the girls, sometimes by myself.  Another Aunt (Aunt Penny) arrived around then too.  She and Tami were so helpful keeping up Mom's house while she was away, keeping an eye on my girls so I could go to the hospital without them (my sis-in-law Amy did this too), and just loving all of us.
Other than the hospital visits, life went on normally in many ways.  We finished the year of preschool, went to playgroup, kept up our grocery swapping with my friend Ashley, went to church like always, and spent time at Mom's house.  She just wasn't there.  I talked to her almost every day--usually quick chats, but enjoyable none-the-less.  She loved feeling the baby kick when I'd go for visits.  I loved showing her cute crafts I'd seen lately, helping her show Tami how to blog, and listening to her chat with her sisters. 
One of my favorite memories from this time is from Monday, May 23.  We hooked up our computer to the TV and called Mom on Skype--she joined us remotely for family home evening!  We let our kids pick the opening song--Sunbeam (of course) and Mom joined right in with their little voices, hand motions and all.  Our lesson was short (they usually are with our busy girls :) ) and it was titled "Heavenly Father and Jesus Love Me" from the nursery manual.  Megan wanted to bear her testimony and one thing she said was, "I love Granny".  So cute.  Our closing song was "I Feel My Savior's Love" and it was pretty poignant to sing it with my Mom that night.  Especially the line "He knows I will follow Him, give all my life to Him".  Both of our voices were faltering a little by the end.  But it was a great few minutes spent with her--even if it was remotely.  I love the way primary songs make me feel.  Here are the words--we only sang the first verse and chorus with her, but I really love the second and third verses also.

1. I feel my Savior’s love

In all the world around me.

His Spirit warms my soul

Through ev’rything I see.

Chorus:

He knows I will follow him,

Give all my life to him.

I feel my Savior’s love,

The love he freely gives me.

2. I feel my Savior’s love;

Its gentleness enfolds me,

And when I kneel to pray,

My heart is filled with peace.

3. I feel my Savior’s love

And know that he will bless me.

I offer him my heart;

My shepherd he will be.

Aunt Tobi came all the way from Malaysia.  She arrived on May 28 and I got to pick her up at the airport.  She had been traveling for more than 24 hours and didn't even want to drop her bags off at the house before going to see Mom at the hospital.  So we took her straight there and I went to visit Mom too.  Their tender reunion was another favorite memory from that time.  Tobi walked in and just held Mom and told her she loved her while they both cried.  Watching my aunts and my Dad care for Mom prior to and during an NG tube insertion was pretty amazing too.  Tami was massaging her feet and talking calmly to help her relax, Tobi was holding her hands, Dad was at the bedside making sure the nurse had everything right.  And it was.

 

Penny and Mom at the hospital, May 25

Mom and Tami, May 25

Mom and me, May 25 (31 and 3/7 weeks)

Stewart Beach with some friends, May 27

Dan's first attempt at ribs, May 29 (yum, yum)

Going to the neighborhood pool, Memorial Day May 30

Movie time with the cousins after a Memorial Day BBQ at my parents' house, May 30.  Also, my Mom's best friend from growing up/high school/college came out for the weekend and it was great to finally meet Randy Jane.  I enjoyed watching them interact and hearing stories from my Mom's childhood and high school years.  The grandkids LOVED Randy (and her iPhone).

May 31 was one of the most challenging days I've ever experienced.  My Mom was scheduled for surgery.  Not to remove the rapidly spreading cancer, but a desperate attempt to find some way to bypass her bowel obstruction so she would be a candidate for more chemo.  We were expecting a long and possibly complicated surgery.  I spent the morning reading up on colostomy care since if the bypass was successful, she'd likely come home with one of those.
But then, a little after 2 pm, the phone rang.  It was my Dad.  He said Mom was still in the recovery room and was doing fine.  He'd just spoken with her surgeon--the surgery had not gone as planned.  When the surgeons opened her up, they couldn't believe how complex and advanced her cancer was.  They couldn't even get to the bowel obstruction to attempt to go around it.  They were able to place a G-tube (soft tube coming out from her stomach that would allow her to have a liquid diet--she hadn't been able to eat anything since she'd been in the hospital).  There was nothing more they could do.
The plan now was to get her home as soon as possible.  And then in my Dad's words--"She'll come home.  And we'll have time.  And there will be good days and bad days."  But we were done with chemo and surgery and hope of a long life.  It was hard.  It was so surreal.  I spent the next hour poring over talks and found a quote that helped me gather myself to take care of my kids and hold it together the rest of the day.

"Each of us will have our own Fridays--those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces.

"But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death--Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.

"No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come." Joseph B. Wirthlin

 

Home from the hospital! (again)

Mom got out of MD Anderson for that partial bowel obstruction on May 20.  So on May 21, we all gathered to spend the day with her.  Mom was sick of the hospital!  She got up, put on her makeup, wore a cute skirt and earrings and a brave face.  She looked beautiful.  We all had hopes that Mom could join us swimming this day--but she didn't feel up to it.  She was certainly not feeling her best, but she had a great time with my Dad, her sister Tami, 4 of her 5 children and 6 of the 11 grandchildren around her.  It was a precious day.  She was back in the hospital the next day on May 22--this time her bowel was completely obstructed.  Here are some pics from our day with her on May 21.

Me and my little fish

Mom, Amy, and Molly (just 2 1/2 months old)

Megan, Chloe, and Brooke--all snuggled in for a movie after swimming

Granny and Brooke

Granny and Megan

Preschool 2010-2011

Megan and I had  blast with our first year of preschool.  We did it with 5 other kids from the ward (4 other girls and 1 boy) and it was on Wednesday mornings from 9 to 11:30.  I enjoyed the weeks teaching, but I also enjoyed the weeks in between when I had a few hours of time with just one kiddo to keep track of.   I am amazed at how much Megan changed just during the school year!  And for the record, Megan took her first dance class this year too.  It was at the home of a sister in the ward for 8 weeks from March to May and she LOVED it.  Unfortunately, I didn't get any dance class pics.  But, here's a picture from when preschool started on Aug. 30, 2010 and one from the second-to-last day on May 18, 2011.

Summer Dresses

When I saw these adorable dresses for just $5 at WalMart, I couldn't resist.  They were the perfect thing to get me in the mood for summer.  I immediately called my Mom to tell her all about them.  She couldn't wait to see them in person.  Unfortunately, she was back in the hospital.  A new one this time, MD Anderson.  She was admitted May 15 for a partial bowel obstruction.
After the devastating news from May 2 that the cancer was back and spreading, I felt like the cancer had won and all hope was lost.  But once I got home and saw Mom in person and learned about the options available, I was feeling cautiously optimistic about the study she was enrolling in.  The drug combination had led to a slow down or reversal in cancer growth in something like 11 of the 13 people it had been tried on thus far.  I was slowly beginning to accept that the 30 years more I had hoped to have with her (or even the 5 I had been really counting on since her diagnosis) might be much, MUCH shorter.  But the studies she was looking at gave me hope she'd be here through the summer at least.  And she was so full of life and energy--it just seemed unreal that her body was so full of cancer.  If anyone seemed the perfect candidate for these studies, it was her!  But you can't have chemo when you have a bowel obstruction, so we had to get that out of the way first. 

Megan on May 15--*Blue striped leggings not included...but such a lovely accessory :)

Brooke on May 15

Mom, Dad, and Tyler in the hospital, May 18 (pic taken by my brother Shad)

Granny, Brooke, and Megan on May 19.  Mom got to see the girls' dresses in person this day.  We stopped by her room briefly and my Dad walked over to eat his lunch there too.  We got to meet her doctor at MD Anderson (Dr. Coleman) and he was great.  Meeting with him was reassuring.  He was kind and capable and genuinely interested in the best outcome for my Mom.  I am friends with the daughter of one of his colleagues and I hoped that he would feel more connected to Mom because of that.  I wanted her to be more than just another name for him, I wanted him to be familiar with her as the wonderful person that she is. I also loved just watching Mom and Dad interact at the hospital.  Their kisses and the way they talked so familiarly and routinely about their day were so comforting.  

We brought lunch to eat with Granny!  She enjoyed her clear liquids while we ate our pb&h.

Mom and me on May 19 (30 weeks and 4 days pregnant)

 

Megan and Brooke enjoying the hospital crackers.  My Mom is always able to find "treats" for her grandbabies--even with limited resources!

You know it's been a long time since blogging when...

1. You finally move your pictures from the camera to the computer and there are 769 of them.
2. You realize when looking through the pictures that you have all these posts to do about the weather finally warming up...and the high today was 90.
AND finally:
3. Your last post was announcing the pregnancy that is now only 10 weeks away from being done!

Yeah. Time flies. There have been highs and lows and everything in between. I'm determined to get caught up. Mostly because this blog is my family scrapbook and I print a book for each year and don't want to leave a full quarter of the year undocumented. But I'm now using blogger in draft mode and will set things to post no more than once a day (even if I do 8 posts at once). Wish me luck!

Home Again! and a few b-days

We were so happy to be home after our Utah trip.
The day after mother's day was Monday, May 9 and I spent the day with my sisters at my parents' house.    We cleaned and played and planted flowers and got ready for my little brother's birthday celebration.  My sister Jamie and her little boy Owen had flown in for the race that weekend and we just overlapped for that day.

Dan and the girls waiting to sing Happy Birthday

The "big" kids singing...

Making his wish...

It's hard to believe that Tyler is 14!  And in an effort to celebrate authentically, Mom spent the day and night in the hospital where he was born.  She had a long Sunday night after getting a chest tube placed to reinflate her collapsed lung.  And then a long day with little improvement--that tube was kinked, argh!  That got straightened out and she was able to get out Wednesday May 11 (just in time to go meet with the doctors at MD Anderson).  She spent the next day (May 12) doing testing all day to gear up for some studies offered for ovarian cancer at MD Anderson.  And then we let her get some rest on Friday, May 13 since we were planning to spend the next day with her.

While we were waiting for those few days for my Mom to get home and rest up a little, the girls and I spent some quality time splashing with our playgroup, tending our garden, and splashing in the backyard.

Playgroup, May 10

Cute pigtails and messy face, May 13

Lunchtime, May 13

New swimsuits!  May 13

 

First fruits of our labors!  

Look at that!  So many healthy plants--it's amazing what a little water, soil, and sunlight will do! May 13

Finally, on Saturday May 14 we got to see my Mom!  We also celebrated my niece Chloe's 3rd birthday...and it was Dan's and my 6th anniversary.  We spent the day with my family and went home at bedtime ready to enjoy some Pei Wei takeout and watch the latest Twilight movie after the girls were in bed (yes, my husband loves me to watch Twilight with me :) ).

Dan and Brooke walking from Granny's to my brother's house across the street for Chloe's party...

Granny and Megan...

Princess Megan and Princess Chloe...

My Mom and my girls...

Princess hair...

Brooke trying to take good care of baby Molly...

 

Granny helping Megan with her newly made princess bracelet...

Sprint for Life/Mother's Day

On May 7, 2011 we were still in Utah and got to go meet Maren's sweet new baby Anna--Anna was just 2 days old.  Meanwhile, back in Houston, my parents and siblings participated in the MD Anderson Sprint for Life for Ovarian Cancer research.  My mom was just one day post-op after having a new port placed for future chemo (a usually pretty minor surgery) and she was slow, but she walked the whole 5K!  Her team (Sweet Like Candy) was huge--close to 50 people and she was so moved by all the support from friends, neighbors, and ward members.  We were sad to miss the race and were looking forward to being home the next day.  You can see the video my sister made from the race day by clicking here. 

Megan was so excited to realize that if Maren's baby came out to play, ours would come someday too!

Maren (looking great at 2 days post partum) and Anna (Ah-dorable!)

Shad, Jamie, Dad, Mom, Carrie, and Tyler before the race...

The whole team!  Sweet Like Candy 2011

 

(L to R): My Mom Candy, Laura, and Linda (two of her good friends; Linda is the Mom of my good friends Kat and Jenn)

My Mom is one of the most amazing women I know.  She proved that yet again on her race day!  While we were flying home from Utah on Mother's Day (May 8), Mom was being admitted to the hospital for a collapsed lung--she walked that 5K on one lung.  It was most likely nicked during her surgery on May 6.

I was pretty sad that we didn't get to head straight over to Mom's when we got off the plane like we wanted, but we did arrive home safe and sound and looked forward to seeing her soon.  I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful mothers--my Mom, Dan's Mom, Baba, Dan's Grandma, my sisters, sisters-in-law, aunts--it's amazing the influence each has had on my life. 

I wasn't expecting much for myself on Mother's Day this year, but Dan had planned ahead!  I arrived home to a lovely new food processor (that I'd been wanting for a few years)--it was a great surprise.

Mother's Day was especially poignant for me this year as I realized it could be the last one I'd have with my Mom.  I was so thankful that day for the chance to talk with her on the phone and express my love. 

The Wedding

So the original reason for us to come visit Utah was to celebrate the wedding of Dan's cousin Bryan and his sweetheart, Jennie.  They just happened to choose May 6--a mere 2 weeks after my Grandfather's party, so we decided to send the kids and I early to celebrate that and just stay for the duration.
When I met Dan, he was living in an apartment with his cousins Bryan and Nathan and their good buddy, Lynn.  Nathan married Stephanie 3 weeks before Dan and I got married and then there were a number of years where we all waited and waited for Lynn and Bryan to jump on the marriage bandwagon!  Lynn got married last year and now (finally!), Bryan is married too!  We had so much fun meeting Jennie (she is an RN in the NICU where I used to work, so I liked her immediately) and being part of their special day.

They had their reception the night before (on May 5).  Everything looked beautiful and we loved the ice cream sundae bar--yum, yum.

Megan being a goof in the afternoon before the party...

Brooke and the tiger she adopted as her own while at Grandma and Papa's...

Brooke waiting to meet the soon-to-be bride and groom...

Our family with Bryan and Jennie...

Another reception, another opportunity to dance with your sister...

And take care of little Henry (they about dove in that stroller with him---our new baby will be SO loved)

Cory and Tara with Dan and I (Cory was another roommate of Dan's who just got married--we're so happy for them too!)

Lynn and Michelle...

We stayed at the reception for quite some time because we wanted to see as many old friends as we could...so to help our children not run around like crazies, we strapped them in their stroller and kept them well stocked with m&ms from the sundae bar :).  Parents of the year, that's us!

The next day was Friday, May 6--here is a pic of Dan and I ready to leave for the sealing... (special shout out to Michelle, Ali, and Heather who watched our kids for us!)

 Dad and Mom Aird with Aunt Janice and Uncle Len...

Bryan and Jennie!  I love this picture :)

Amber and Stephanie...

All the boys...Nathan, Lynn, Bryan, Dan, and Cory--they were such fun guys to know when we were all single and it's fun to see them all in their own families now!

Bryan's truck--we made sure they got to leave in style :)