In my post-college life, I've realized that it takes me a long time to get to a "really close friend" level with people. I have lots of friends, many good friends, but only a handful of really close friends. Andrea and I were not on the "really close" level, but we were on the good friend level and steadily getting closer. I always imagined her being one of my really close friends one day. As I've reflected on my friendship with her, I've been amazed at the many lessons I learned from her and the many memories I have of her in our short time together.
When I checked my email and facebook on Tuesday morning and realized what had happened, I was dumbfounded. It hit me so hard. I just couldn't believe it. I helped her out in primary just a week before this. We both grew up lifeguarding and coaching swimming and we both brought our girls to the pool as often as we could. I loved chatting with her as the kids splashed and played. It simply didn't seem real. But it is. And it hurts. Sure, I hurt for me and the loss of this friend and the anticipated years of friendship ahead.
But mostly I hurt for her family. I hurt for her husband who she loved so intensely. I hurt for her beautiful daughters that she was raising to be just as amazing as she was. I hurt for her parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins--so many people facing this void where a vibrant light once was. And having gone through a close loss so recently myself, I have an inkling of what they are all going through.
In the past few days (as in the days after Mom's death), I find myself holding Dan a little longer, kissing my kids more, looking into their eyes and trying to always remember how good life is and how fast time flies by. I've also realized that maybe the most important thing I've learned is that I want to be more like Andrea by letting the people around me into my heart more quickly. She was so good at making friends--close friends.
I'm thankful for the perspective of the gospel. Knowing that this life is not the end and that family relationships that are sealed in the temple go one forever helps. But I'll miss her. And I am once again reminded that life is short and I don't want to waste a minute on things that don't matter. Thank you Andrea for being such a great example of living life to the fullest--I'm so grateful to have known you.
Andrea and her family at the ward Christmas party last December. Pray for them--Kyle, Brooklyn, Karalee, and Katelyn need it. And if you feel so compelled, there is a donation page set up to help their family, follow the link here: http://pledgie.com/campaigns/17792
5 comments:
wow, that is so sad. I am very sad you lost your friend, and feel that hurt you talked about, for her family. You are so right that we just never know when we'll return to our Heavenly Father and therefore must take life's moments to their fullest. Thank you for writing about that and reminding us all.
I have to admit when I saw your facebook post, tears immediately sprang to my eyes and I thought of her little girls and her hubby and even though I don't know them, my heart ached for them. I hope writing about your thoughts and feelings helps you. It certainly touches those of us who read your words and helps us realize what's most important in this life (well, at least it touches me). You are a wonderful mother and friend. Love you!
Thank you for this, Amber. Talking and reading about her has brought me so much comfort. I find myself on her facebook page a million times throughout the day. I never want to forget what a wonderful person she is and makes me want to be.
so so sad. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I will hold my loved ones a little tighter that's for sure.
I just found your blog and I was really impressed with how you described Andrea. I've had a lot of similar feelings about hurting for the loss of anticipated years of friendship, etc. and I really appreciated your thoughts. Thank you for sharing.
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