A Piece of Heaven

Around the 15th of June, Mom stopped feeling better.  Each day from there on out, she felt a little weaker, drank a little less, took a little more pain medication, and slept a little more.  But there were still 2 things she wanted to get done.  The first was to spend time in the temple with all of her children and their spouses.  The second was to speak at my niece Hailey's baptism on June 19 like she'd agreed to do months ago.
The plan was to go do sealings at the temple on Saturday June 18.  But even Friday night, the jury was out on whether she'd be able to or not.  I prayed like I've rarely prayed before that Mom would have the strength to get there.  
Saturday morning, Dan went down to play basketball with my brothers at the church and while he was gone, Dad called to say we were on for the temple and that they'd be there at 11.  I immediately cried tears of relief that this outing was happening.  But then I realized I needed to find a friend to watch our kids.  I tried to get it together and was able to leave a coherent message on the first phone call.  On the second call, the husband answered and said they weren't available and I was able to get off the phone before I started crying.  I was starting to lose it a little in anticipation of the last time I'd be with Mom in the temple, but I still needed someone to watch the kids.  So I took some deep breaths and made another call.  This time, my good friend Sara answered.  And when she said she wasn't available that day, I completely started sobbing.  Poor Sara-even though logically I knew we'd find someone, I could hardly talk!  I was finally able to squeak out that there were still more people I'd call and she made me promise to call her back and she'd rearrange her day if I still needed someone.  When we hung up, I couldn't stop crying and decided that Dan could finish making the arrangements when he got home.  He got home around 10, immediately called another friend who was available that morning, and we got ready to leave.
When we got to the temple, Mom and Dad weren't there yet.  We walked upstairs to the waiting area and saw Kat (a best friend since childhood) and her husband Glen.  Obviously I started crying again.  Mom had missed seeing Kat and her whole family just a week before and I knew Mom would be so happy to say hi to them on her way in.  It was heartbreaking to tell Kat that Mom likely had days and not weeks left on this earth.  Mom was so happy to see and hug Kat for a minute before heading on in.
Mom looked amazing.  Absolutely beautiful.  No one would ever guess how sick she was.  She came in a wheelchair and already had her white dress on.  I just continued with my crying.  We headed in to the dressing room together and we all got ready to do sealings.  My sister Carrie and I helped Mom get ready and then we walked down to the sealing room.  Mom and Dad sat on the couch underneath one of the mirrors.  The rest of us (me, Dan, Shad, Amy, Carrie, and my Aunt Tami) sat facing them.  We were told the sealer would be in in about 15 minutes, so we closed the door and just cherished being together.  Mom and Dad glowed.  It was a tender time.  My little brother Tyler was also in the temple, he was downstairs doing baptisms.  We missed having my sister Jamie and her husband Trent there.  There were lots of tears shed as we waited.  At one point Mom looked over at us and told us if we were going to remember something, we should remember this.  I do Mom, I do.  My memory of that time together in the sealing room just glows.  It was like being in heaven.  Mom and Dad knelt at the altar, held hands, and and were sealed for time and all eternity for some of our ancestors.  Then Shad knelt with them and stood in for a son.  Then Mom was too tired to kneel and she sat and watched.  Carrie knelt across from Dad and I stood in for a daughter.
After the sealings, we all walked down to the Celestial Room.  We hugged and cried and just watched Mom in disbelief that this could be our last time together in the temple on the same side of the veil. 
When we finished, we took pictures out front.  Mom was getting tired and was relieved to be back in the new blue suburban for the ride home.  My girls were supposed to go to a birthday party that afternoon, but I knew it was more important to be with Mom, so we picked up our kids and headed straight down.

Dan and I had written letters to Mom that week expressing our love for her, so we went into her room where she was resting and shared them with her.  It felt so good to tell her those things.  She shared her patriarchal blessing with us and we all just chatted quietly.  Our girls came in to give her kisses and then we let her rest for a few hours.

Tami and Mom after the temple, June 19

The trip to the temple really wiped Mom out.  But she was determined to get to Hailey's baptism and speak.  She'd prepared her talk earlier in the week and Tobi, Tami, and I had helped her get her visual aids ready.  She spent Sunday morning June 19 resting and trying to conserve her energy for the baptism at 4 pm.  When we got to the house before the baptism, Mom was getting dressed with Tami's help.  I went in to check on her and she was in her church clothes hunched over on the edge of the bed with a cool washcloth pressed to her face, trying not to pass out.  But she just gritted her teeth, put on her wig, and got in the wheelchair.
She did it.  She made it to the baptism, gave her talk from her wheelchair, and made Hailey's day.  Hailey had asked me to lead the music and I looked at the closing song and laughed--Families Can Be Together Forever?  You think I'll be able to lead that at 8 months pregnant with the imminent death of my Mom?
I felt pretty safe with the opening song--I Am A Child of God.  But I made the mistake of looking at my parents sitting on the front row as we sang the words "parents kind and dear" and I didn't recover for the rest of the song.  I actually kept it together for the closing song--I knew at that point not to look at anyone or think about the words. 
I loved hearing Mom's testimony--she gave a great talk and I felt the spirit so strongly as she bore testimony of the reality of our Savior and of the resurrection.
The ward members there showered Mom with love and attention.  As I watched her, I could tell she wanted to stay longer for them--so they could say their goodbyes.  But after a few minutes, she was too tired to stay any longer and Dad took her home.  I talked to her that night and told her that just because she'd done the last two things on her list didn't mean she could leave quite yet.  We smiled at each other--but I knew that accomplishment was significant.  Her time was growing shorter.  I called my sister Jamie the next day and we discussed when she'd be returning with her kids.  Their flight was scheduled for June 29, but as we talked, she realized she needed to get here sooner and she began working on the arrangements.  

My brother Shad, Mom, and niece Hailey--June 19, 2011